"And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
Isaiah 6:7
Ever since I can remember, I never could lie very well. Everytime I tried to lie as a kid, it would backfire on me because I would feel all this deep guilt within myself and then just confess whatever it was. My lies were always written on my face or in my actions. Guilt would consume me.
Guilt has now turned into fear for me. I don't feel guilt as much any more, as I do fear of the ramifications of telling the truth in today's litigious society. Look at your car's insurance card: one of the key things it says is to not admit guilt in an accident. So my insurance company is telling me not to take responsibility for my actions? What message does that send? Maybe I am naive in my thinking here, or it could be the guilt I carry around.
Fear and guilt are of the same color when it comes to the emotional spectrum. Boiled down to their essence, these emotions invoke feelings of not being in control. As we all know, control is an illusion, or should I say dillusion, we mere humans see as some ability we have over our surroundings and circumstances. Some people spend their entire lives chasing after control of their situation or position in life. We here it a great deal: "I must take control of my destiny, fate, etc."
The problem is this: fear, guilt and control can turn into obsessions if we are not careful and do not focus on the fact that our Father in heaven has control over all things, except of course, our own choices. Choices are about the only things we have control over in life. And no one makes right decisions 100% of the time.
Christ is our refuge in those times we are afraid. Trying to take control of a situation is us saying to God, "Hey, I got this one. Take a break for a little while because I want to play your part for awhile." Guilt, is us saying, "God, today I will not let you forgive me for the things I have done wrong. I just want to wallow in my own misery hear. Take a break for a little while because I want to play your part for awhile."
The ultimate sacrfice has been paid for our sin, sins which can lead to guilt if we let them, and further, guilt leads to fear when we try to take control. The atonement has happened. Why do we try so hard to pay our own way?
Forgive me Father,
Freak
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
"You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety."
Psalm 4:7-8
Last night, my wife and I hosted our home team as we have done every Tuesday since the beginning of February. Tonight was a little special for me. As I posted months back, I read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. We have been following the accompanying study to his book in our home team this session and it has been really cool to see our group participating and growing in their walks with Jesus Christ.
Tonight was especially enlightening to me as we dug down to the heart of loving our Savior and God. We talked about loving Him in a way that rivals that of our most intimate relationships here on earth. It made me look deep into my relationship with Him and wonder: How much effort am I putting into our relationship?
We asked a lot of questions tonight. What was it like to pursue that person in your past or present who you would do anything to spend time with? What did you give up in life to spend that extra 15 minutes with your special someone? Was a 3 hour drive, one way, worth seeing that person for only 30 minutes? Seeing that person in the flesh was amazing, but how does not seeing Jesus physically affect how we interact with Him?
Relatable questions, all of them, but pondersome nonetheless. I had to ask myself some other questions: when I was chasing my wife in college, what did I do that would seem crazy just to get a kiss or spend 5 minutes with her? What did I give up for her that might have been important because I just wanted to spend time with her? (Quick Story: I once drove 28 hours straight from Tucson AZ to Auburn AL just to spend 2 days with my fiance before some military training. I have a $200 speeding ticket from a Louisiana cop to prove it! Now, would I do that again to spend 2 days with my Savior?)
Let me ask those questions again and replace "my wife" with "my Savior." When I was chasing my Savior in the past, what did I do that would seem crazy just to spend 15 minutes with Him? What did I give up for my Savior that might have been important because I just wanted to spend time with Him?
Fast forward to today: What am I giving up to spend time with my Savior, Jesus Christ? What is more important than my relationship with Jesus Christ? Then we threw out the challenge: conciously spend more time with Christ this week than we do with that special someone (spouse, kids, friends, coworkers, etc.). Whether it's 1 minute or 1 hour more, make the effort. Don't do it because it's forced, but do it because it is what we yearn for and desire. We were not just talking about doing things for Christ like church, or service or, worship. We were talking about connection and letting responsibilities go just to spend time with Him.
Sherk the responsibilites for once and open up your mind and Bible. What will it be like? I bet it's like no other experience on earth and I want it!
Take these responsibilities and ..............,
Freak
Psalm 4:7-8
Last night, my wife and I hosted our home team as we have done every Tuesday since the beginning of February. Tonight was a little special for me. As I posted months back, I read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. We have been following the accompanying study to his book in our home team this session and it has been really cool to see our group participating and growing in their walks with Jesus Christ.
Tonight was especially enlightening to me as we dug down to the heart of loving our Savior and God. We talked about loving Him in a way that rivals that of our most intimate relationships here on earth. It made me look deep into my relationship with Him and wonder: How much effort am I putting into our relationship?
We asked a lot of questions tonight. What was it like to pursue that person in your past or present who you would do anything to spend time with? What did you give up in life to spend that extra 15 minutes with your special someone? Was a 3 hour drive, one way, worth seeing that person for only 30 minutes? Seeing that person in the flesh was amazing, but how does not seeing Jesus physically affect how we interact with Him?
Relatable questions, all of them, but pondersome nonetheless. I had to ask myself some other questions: when I was chasing my wife in college, what did I do that would seem crazy just to get a kiss or spend 5 minutes with her? What did I give up for her that might have been important because I just wanted to spend time with her? (Quick Story: I once drove 28 hours straight from Tucson AZ to Auburn AL just to spend 2 days with my fiance before some military training. I have a $200 speeding ticket from a Louisiana cop to prove it! Now, would I do that again to spend 2 days with my Savior?)
Let me ask those questions again and replace "my wife" with "my Savior." When I was chasing my Savior in the past, what did I do that would seem crazy just to spend 15 minutes with Him? What did I give up for my Savior that might have been important because I just wanted to spend time with Him?
Fast forward to today: What am I giving up to spend time with my Savior, Jesus Christ? What is more important than my relationship with Jesus Christ? Then we threw out the challenge: conciously spend more time with Christ this week than we do with that special someone (spouse, kids, friends, coworkers, etc.). Whether it's 1 minute or 1 hour more, make the effort. Don't do it because it's forced, but do it because it is what we yearn for and desire. We were not just talking about doing things for Christ like church, or service or, worship. We were talking about connection and letting responsibilities go just to spend time with Him.
Sherk the responsibilites for once and open up your mind and Bible. What will it be like? I bet it's like no other experience on earth and I want it!
Take these responsibilities and ..............,
Freak
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Resurrection
Question of the Day: why is the birth of Jesus celebrated so much more than His death and resurrection? This has been a question I have had for a very long time. Many will argue that there would be no crucifixion and subsequent raising from the dead had Jesus not been born, so it is more important to celebrate His birth. But I beg to differ. There would be no salvation without his death and resurrection. The blood He shed for each and every one of us on the cross would not be possible if Christ had decided not to abide by the will of the Father.
"And going a little farther, he fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but what you will.'" Matthew 26:39
"And he said, 'Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.'" Mark 14:36
"And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed saying, 'Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.'" Luke 22:41-42
Three of the four gospels confirm that Jesus could just have easily done his own thing, as take up his final cross for us and spill his blood for our salvation and forgiveness. In Jesus' final prayer in the garden, according to John, Jesus even hints at the fact that he could have made that decision. So my questions still remains, why do we celebrate Christmas as the penultimate holiday to celebrate Christ, yet for the most part, we give Easter a cursory recognition? Is just a reason for us to take 2 weeks vacation from school at the end of the year? Does it give us other reasons to conclude the year on a high note?
Who knows. I vote for a change to the status quo across the board. Let's celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection as much, if not more than, we do His birth. It just might change our outlook on the gift we have been given by the Father.
Please don't take this as an indictment on anyone or any organization. I am just as guilty.
I'm just saying,
Freak
"And going a little farther, he fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but what you will.'" Matthew 26:39
"And he said, 'Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.'" Mark 14:36
"And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed saying, 'Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.'" Luke 22:41-42
Three of the four gospels confirm that Jesus could just have easily done his own thing, as take up his final cross for us and spill his blood for our salvation and forgiveness. In Jesus' final prayer in the garden, according to John, Jesus even hints at the fact that he could have made that decision. So my questions still remains, why do we celebrate Christmas as the penultimate holiday to celebrate Christ, yet for the most part, we give Easter a cursory recognition? Is just a reason for us to take 2 weeks vacation from school at the end of the year? Does it give us other reasons to conclude the year on a high note?
Who knows. I vote for a change to the status quo across the board. Let's celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection as much, if not more than, we do His birth. It just might change our outlook on the gift we have been given by the Father.
Please don't take this as an indictment on anyone or any organization. I am just as guilty.
I'm just saying,
Freak
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Other Woman
"For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolator, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God." Ephesians 5:5.
I was with some guys this weekend, spending time in Scripture, learning about effective leadership, but most of all, connecting with God and seeing where He is leading His church. One of the guys said something while we were all together that made me think about the odd relationship I was forming with that little device I connect to the world with. He held up his Crackberry, ehh hem, sorry, Blackberry, in his left hand and proclaimed that she was The Other Woman! (Ladies, this is not to exlcude those who find The Other Man in there personal electronic devices, but most of the time, it's us men who find refuge in "sexy" technology).
So I started thinking, yes dangerously thinking: When are the times I see myself engrossed in technology and leave my wife, family, and even my God for "The Other Woman?" It happens more often than I want to admit. For the most part, when I get home from work, the BB goes on the charger stand, vibrates a lot, grabs my attention every time, and calls to me to caress the buttons and answer every email, text message, Tweet, and phone call that comes across her very active radio waves. Most times I can resist the lure of the "idolatrous" electronic vixen she is. But there are times when I cave and just look at the screen with my picture of Ethan on the Monster Truck wheel. Guilty again.
Question: did Jesus ever have one of these? My guess is that if he did, it would have ended up at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee after the first 5 minutes of the Pharisees Tweeting about this odd Nazerean that was blaspheming the name of God. Yet WE still come back for more.
So what do we call The Other Woman? A distraction? A tool for business? An IDOL? Tough call, but sometimes, it may just be an idol we use to lose ourselves among the world of electrons and shirk off our real responsibilities. Sometimes, the hard responsibilities: loving our wives or husbands; spending time with our kids; seeking the face of God in life; learning the hard truth about our relationship with God.
This indictment I take upon myself. Where do I need to leave the Other Woman behind?
Away with you Woman!
Freak
I was with some guys this weekend, spending time in Scripture, learning about effective leadership, but most of all, connecting with God and seeing where He is leading His church. One of the guys said something while we were all together that made me think about the odd relationship I was forming with that little device I connect to the world with. He held up his Crackberry, ehh hem, sorry, Blackberry, in his left hand and proclaimed that she was The Other Woman! (Ladies, this is not to exlcude those who find The Other Man in there personal electronic devices, but most of the time, it's us men who find refuge in "sexy" technology).
So I started thinking, yes dangerously thinking: When are the times I see myself engrossed in technology and leave my wife, family, and even my God for "The Other Woman?" It happens more often than I want to admit. For the most part, when I get home from work, the BB goes on the charger stand, vibrates a lot, grabs my attention every time, and calls to me to caress the buttons and answer every email, text message, Tweet, and phone call that comes across her very active radio waves. Most times I can resist the lure of the "idolatrous" electronic vixen she is. But there are times when I cave and just look at the screen with my picture of Ethan on the Monster Truck wheel. Guilty again.
Question: did Jesus ever have one of these? My guess is that if he did, it would have ended up at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee after the first 5 minutes of the Pharisees Tweeting about this odd Nazerean that was blaspheming the name of God. Yet WE still come back for more.
So what do we call The Other Woman? A distraction? A tool for business? An IDOL? Tough call, but sometimes, it may just be an idol we use to lose ourselves among the world of electrons and shirk off our real responsibilities. Sometimes, the hard responsibilities: loving our wives or husbands; spending time with our kids; seeking the face of God in life; learning the hard truth about our relationship with God.
This indictment I take upon myself. Where do I need to leave the Other Woman behind?
Away with you Woman!
Freak
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Back in the Game
It's been a long while since I have posted to the blog. Two kids are no excuse, but they really demand a lot of time and attention. So I am going to start back into my venture of working for Christ through the words I post here. This privilege to interact with God through the words I write here has been an inspiration lacking lately in my life and it's time to re-engage with Him on a deeper level again.
Like Maverick on a Mig,
Freak
Like Maverick on a Mig,
Freak
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Facelift
Before the end of the year, I am going to give my blog a little facelift. Let's see if I can keep from overthinking this one and just get it done.
JM
JM
Put the Erector Set Down
I was sitting there today in church, and our pastor hit me with something I never really put a great deal of thought into until recently. As he was going through his teaching on Luke 8:26-39, he started to unpack the whole story and the impact people can have on others. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a self-realization about me and how I try to talk with people about Christ.
Actually, it was a self-realization about something that has cluttered my head for a long time. Lately (that's a relative term, it's more like the past few years) I have had numerous people tell me that I try and analyze things way too much. You know, always trying to find the why or figure things out and it gets in the way of me doing. Most times I think too much instead of doing. It's been the death of so many ideas and plans I have had. I think things through to perfection and then stop achieving because I don't want to screw up the Rembrant in my head. And then it's rinse, lather, repeat like my shampoo bottle.........
So here was my 2x4 moment. The demon possessed man begged to follow Jesus after he had been saved, but Jesus ordered him to go home and tell everyone about what God had done. And then our lead pastor laid it out: this man had no training, no Bible (well, that would have been a little difficult but you get my drift), no concordance, no commentary, no (fill in the blank). He had nothing but this experience with his awesome Savior!
When I think about that, I just slump my head in shame. Then I lift it again and ask for the help of Christ in getting out of the way and letting Him do His work. Instead of focusing on MY power to meet objections against following Christ, instead of focusing on MY ability to coerce others about the good things of following Christ, instead of focusing on MY talents being used for His purposes, I must now turn aside and let Christ use HIS power. It's a power we will NEVER understand. I've tried it. It's a fruitless effort...............
And one more thing, this is for you Jeff B, we need to stop trying to figure out how or why He works, and just be satisfied that He does in so many awesome ways. Otherwise, Christ gets put back in that little box we only pull out on Sundays and holidays, and when we THINK we are talking with someone about His saving grace.
Putting my inner engineer out to pasture,
Freak
Actually, it was a self-realization about something that has cluttered my head for a long time. Lately (that's a relative term, it's more like the past few years) I have had numerous people tell me that I try and analyze things way too much. You know, always trying to find the why or figure things out and it gets in the way of me doing. Most times I think too much instead of doing. It's been the death of so many ideas and plans I have had. I think things through to perfection and then stop achieving because I don't want to screw up the Rembrant in my head. And then it's rinse, lather, repeat like my shampoo bottle.........
So here was my 2x4 moment. The demon possessed man begged to follow Jesus after he had been saved, but Jesus ordered him to go home and tell everyone about what God had done. And then our lead pastor laid it out: this man had no training, no Bible (well, that would have been a little difficult but you get my drift), no concordance, no commentary, no (fill in the blank). He had nothing but this experience with his awesome Savior!
When I think about that, I just slump my head in shame. Then I lift it again and ask for the help of Christ in getting out of the way and letting Him do His work. Instead of focusing on MY power to meet objections against following Christ, instead of focusing on MY ability to coerce others about the good things of following Christ, instead of focusing on MY talents being used for His purposes, I must now turn aside and let Christ use HIS power. It's a power we will NEVER understand. I've tried it. It's a fruitless effort...............
And one more thing, this is for you Jeff B, we need to stop trying to figure out how or why He works, and just be satisfied that He does in so many awesome ways. Otherwise, Christ gets put back in that little box we only pull out on Sundays and holidays, and when we THINK we are talking with someone about His saving grace.
Putting my inner engineer out to pasture,
Freak
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