Guilt by......well, just Guilt!

"And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
              Isaiah 6:7

Ever since I can remember, I never could lie very well.  Everytime I tried to lie as a kid, it would backfire on me because I would feel all this deep guilt within myself and then just confess whatever it was.  My lies were always written on my face or in my actions.  Guilt would consume me. 

Guilt has now turned into fear for me.  I don't feel guilt as much any more, as I do fear of the ramifications of telling the truth in today's litigious society.  Look at your car's insurance card:  one of the key things it says is to not admit guilt in an accident. So my insurance company is telling me not to take responsibility for my actions?  What message does that send?  Maybe I am naive in my thinking here, or it could be the guilt I carry around.

Fear and guilt are of the same color when it comes to the emotional spectrum.  Boiled down to their essence, these emotions invoke feelings of not being in control.  As we all know, control is an illusion, or should I say dillusion, we mere humans see as some ability we have over our surroundings and circumstances.  Some people spend their entire lives chasing after control of their situation or position in life.  We here it a great deal:  "I must take control of my destiny, fate, etc."

The problem is this:  fear, guilt and control can turn into obsessions if we are not careful and do not focus on the fact that our Father in heaven has control over all things, except of course, our own choices.  Choices are about the only things we have control over in life.  And no one makes right decisions 100% of the time. 

Christ is our refuge in those times we are afraid.  Trying to take control of a situation is us saying to God, "Hey, I got this one.  Take a break for a little while because I want to play your part for awhile." Guilt, is us saying, "God, today I will not let you forgive me for the things I have done wrong.  I just want to wallow in my own misery hear.  Take a break for a little while because I want to play your part for awhile."

The ultimate sacrfice has been paid for our sin, sins which can lead to guilt if we let them, and further, guilt leads to fear when we try to take control.  The atonement has happened.  Why do we try so hard to pay our own way?

Forgive me Father,
Freak