The Shoulder

I was talking with my wife last night about what a dork I was in high school. I was (or should I say still am) the geek who befriended all the girls, yet never dated a single one of them. I was always the one they would turn to with their relationship problems because obviously I was not a threat or someone they thought they could ever date. I became the wet shoulder. I became adept at listening and not solving the problems for them, just suggesting. I also got myself deeper into some problems than I should have and probably made the situation worse over better.

Fast forward about 14 years and now we are in today. I got a bizarre call last night from someone I have only met once. I am not going to go through the circumstances of who and what and where, but let's just say the people involved are a young married couple facing some tough challenges that are not insurmountable, yet worse than anything I have had to deal with or understand from the first person. I was the one that both basically turned to, including one of their parents.

Over my years of being the shoulder, I have learned some hard truths about being a listener: don't put yourself into the situation-it's not yours to fix; and don't get emotionally attached-you will end up the bad guy some how, some way.

The simplest scripture I have is this: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31 NIV). In other words, would I want someone walking up to me and asking me intimate details about a life problem if I did not already entrust them with a certain level of intimacy or privacy? There are men that I would trust to come up to me and challenge me with the hard questions and we should all have these people in our lives, but there are other men whom I would not. It's finding those key people in your life and being that person in someone else's life that makes the difference. Lastly, remember to temper all advice with the wisdom of God's word, and not that of this culture.

Drying my shirt and praying for someone's salvation,
Jesus Freak Out!